Good evening!
Fark, what a week it’s been at FW HQ.
Who’d have known, this time last week, that a newsletter would be the catalyst for the creation of Australia’s greatest dating show, FROOMESWORLD LOVE ISLAND?
Not this CEO.
FW LI proved that with masterful dating prompts (what’s your favourite fast food?) and expert curation (Froomy), finding love is easier than a socially-distanced walk in the park.
It all started when I sent a company-wide memo asking for your personal dating profile red flags.
From spicy margs to guys with guitars, many of the ‘worst’ dating profile tropes were common. So common. More common than Art Directors in Common Projects.
Reposting these red flags on my Instagram Story, it soon became apparent that everyone was thirsty… nay, parched… for TOP HAT TIPS on how to improve your dating profiles, and therefore your chances at finding your Own True Frog.
I’ve decided to transcribe these red flags into a written guide* to refer back to on your darkest, dankest evenings in the swamp. The evenings when you fear you are no closer to finding your Fiona than you are to getting incinerated by Dragon.
Please grab a Sugar-Free Pineapple Cruiser, a notepad and a seat. DOES YOUR DATING PROFILE SUCK 101 is now in session.
(Disclaimer: I did not write this list, I’m just compiling responses. I’m innocent! I’m a nice person.)
*So I just got halfway reading through what I wrote and thought, crap, too salty.
Who am I to say spicy margs suck, photos of you with your guitar are scary, using your nephews as bait on Tinder is weird and that pizza is not a personality trait?
I’m not a dating expert. I am simply a Shrek cosplaying as a woman.
And so I have decided to absolve myself from tonight’s newsletter duties, and instead I have saved the Red Flags Instagram Story as a Highlight, available now.
LOL (Lots Of Love),
F x
Now you see I didn’t know you could get sugar free cruiser in pineapple! I’m off to Dan’s .