🐸 TOP HAT TIPS: BECKY LUCAS
Becky With The Good Tips
Absolute top of the evening to ye !
Oh yes oh yes. A little merlot, fill up my cup. Is that berry I smell? A top note of cinnamon, for me? A zesty body evoking memories of the olde world?
As demonstrated by the above example, describing wine, and food, is a fine art.
Some people have it and some people don’t. Nigella and Matt Preston have it, the gift of describing artichokes or brussels sprouts in a way that makes me not want to vomit. Others aren’t as good and instead rely on Googling ‘delicious synonym’, ‘what does it mean if a wine has legs’ or ‘is matt preston good at critiquing food I want to reference him in my newsletter’.
So when I picked up my free promotional South Dowling Sandwich this morning, a cloud of obligation formed inside my founding father-sized forehead.
I knew I’d have to review it.
Not for SDS, not for myself, but for my employees – those of you who had seen the sandwich and simply could not conceive of a world where you did not know exactly what I thought about it.
You see, I simply love a sandwich. If I was forced to eat a sandwich every day for lunch, I would bend over and take it. I would bareback that brown bread like my life depended on it!
Here is my review.
The sandwich tasted yum. It’s so big, I ate half at 12 and the other half at 3:30, long lunch style. The bread is outrageously fluffy. When you unwrap the foil and feel it with your bare hands, it takes restraint to not do breadface girl.
The heart of the sandwich is a large chicken schnitzel. It’s thin and goes a bit sog in amongst the various trimmings. I like that. There’s also prosciutto. I always feel like a bit of a piece of shit when I eat two animals at once, but here it felt justified.
A diversified diet of fruit and vegetables is key to long-term health. Enter, the salads. Antipasto-style capsicums, caramelised carrots and rocket. The calcium quota is hit with a slither of swiss cheese and a generous lashing of pesto mayonnaise. A limited-edition hot sauce takes this slutty sambo to new, ringstinging heights.
Yeah, it was fucking yum! I eat South Dowling Street Sandwiches roughly every 10 days and this was just as delicious as all those times. I did have the ham one once and it wasn’t as good as the chicken, but still, would. A Sydney institution forever.
Speaking of harbourside icons, tonight’s TOP HAT TIPS are coming courtesy of Becky Lucas.
Originally from Brisbane, Becky is a writer, comedian and the first Australian #girlboss to do standup on Conan.
Becky first fucked my life up when I saw her in ‘Be Your Own Boss’, a pilot she co-created with Cameron James for ABC’s Fresh Blood competition. It’s a perfect mockumentary and when her P!nk impersonator character attempts to do tricks in silks, I simply perish.
Before u go and watch that, here are her THTs!
ALIEN
F: If someone came from space and was like, who is Becky Lucas, what would you say?
BL: Someone like an alien? Or just an astronaut who has been on a space mission for 6 months? Because if it’s the latter I’d be like, oh she’s a comedian and she lives in Sydney and thinks cats are girls and dogs are boys. But if it was an alien I’d be like, ‘wtf, when did you guys get here? Did you bring knowledge? Are you here to hurt or help us or are you just chilling?…. So… How do you like Sydney?’ The sad truth is that even if I met an alien, after the initial shock, we’d probably just end up doing boring small talk and that’s sad.
BIG BREAK
F: Ur first ‘big break’ (if my Googling/memory is correct) was via RAW Comedy in 2013. I’m shook that this was 8 years ago… so much has changed in the industry. If you were starting out today, in the era of Rona, how would you have approached starting out?
BL: I guess RAW comedy would have been my first official break, but really what felt like the first big thing for me was when I opened for an American comic Beth Stelling in Sydney, and then she asked me if I wanted to do a split show with her in LA. That was the best thing about performing in Sydney a few years ago, the fact that there were so many international acts coming through. You could learn so much from them and there was a feeling that the Australian industry was trending upwards and in line with the rest of the world. That’s definitely changed since covid and to be honest it can feel very depressing. I guess if I started out now, I might have let my own creativity grow more by making videos or doing stuff on twitch or tiktok? Not being subjected to a live audience’s response of your jokes could possibly be helpful for figuring out what you actually find funny, whereas sometimes live performance means you pander a bit to the feeling in the room, but ultimately I’m very grateful I got that live experience… So I’m not too sure what I would have done but it's cool to see young comics figuring it out.
CHICKEN
F: Help, for some reason when I think of you I think of roast chicken? I do not know why, it’s like a weird circuit issue in my brain. What is your favourite place to get chicken? Do you even eat chicken?
BL: That might be because a few years ago I was obsessed with the idea that I could eat a whole chicken and would often post about it. I don’t know if I could now, but at one point I was easily doing half and sometimes even three quarters of a chicken but I always pulled back at going for a whole chook. It’s hard to reconcile the part of you that wants to feel lady like and feminine and also the part of you that wants to eat a whole bird. It’s that constant balancing act that makes being a woman HARD. My favourite place to eat chicken is Frango’s in Petersham but I adore Nando’s. I love nothing more than being in the middle of any CBD eating in the back of a Nando’s alone with chippies, some chook, a whole bottle of medium sauce (and a diet coke).
FAVE
F: Fave of all time AUSTRALIAN comedian. Why?
BL: That would have to be Anne Edmonds and it’s because she makes the mundane interesting. She takes every day interactions and assumes the audience is with her and if you are, her comedy is a perfect conduit for true connection. You never feel like she’s trying to sell you a premise or say anything that she knows will ring true just to get a laugh, it’s really uncompromising and just so funny.
TOILET
F: Best toilet you’ve ever been in, and why?
BL: I like the toilets in the Virgin Lounge, and I’m sorry if that’s an elitist response but I have to be honest. I like how the walls of the toilet go right down to the floor and you feel like you’re really safe and sound proof.
FW Interjection: I agree that they are gorgeous.
CAM JAMES
F: You guys have a podcast together, and you also created ‘Be Your Own Boss’ which I love. How did you guys meet?
BL: We met doing a podcast together as guests. We were both early to meet the guy whose podcast it was and while we were waiting we immediately had a spark, it was like a lightning bolt of platonic love. I remember the initial bonding moment happened when the guy (who was kinda tall and goofy looking) eventually arrived and as he walked towards us, either Cameron or I started making tuba noises and we’ve been best friends ever since.
WOMEN IN COMEDY
F: My fave thing about interviews with female comedians is that they’re always asked what it’s like being a female in comedy. So, what’s it like being a female in a convertible?
BL: I can’t even begin to explain the experience of careening down the highway in a VW convertible. Okay I will. So that photo was taken a few years ago during a run of Gold Coast gigs with my aforementioned best friend Cameron and the promoter of the gigs let us stay at his house. He thought it would be fun to have us both there and assumed we’d all hang out and have fun together. Instead, Cameron and I hooned around in his convertible, made fun of his stuff (he had a hookah pipe, an acoustic guitar and a large leather couch with cupholders), took acid in a nearby park (didn’t offer him any) and then came back to the house where we told told him his dog had no soul (also I know I’ve told two stories now about Cameron and I bullying someone but if you met them you’d probably do the same). I assume that this behaviour was directly linked to the convertible as there is something about the absence of a roof and the wind in your hair that makes you feel like it’s your last days on earth.
GOOGLE
F: When I Google your name, here are the other suggested search options. Can you please provide us with verified answers?
BL:
No husband but a boyfriend of three years who I choose to be a bitch to depending on my mood so I’m practically married.
I am thirty two which is crazy because I never thought I would actually be thirty two, I always assumed I’d just make the choice to be twenty seven forever.
No baby just yet, but sometimes I wear a fake pregnant belly and drink a white wine in public just for attention.
My instagram is @becky_lucas89 and my date of birth is the 13th of July 1989 which makes me a cancer (both astrologically and socially)
I don’t have twitter because I was kicked off for threatening to behead the prime minister Scott Morrison.
FOOD
F: Something you do which I enjoy is post resources to ways you can support the refugee community in Sydney, through buying from refugee-run businesses, etc. I found out about @welcomemerchant thru u. What’s your fave Australian refugee-run business?
BL: There’s this Syrian caterer Racha who cooks the most delicious food ever. I think she sometimes guest cooks at Cafe Freda’s. Her handle is @racha_syrian_kitchen and her knafeh is insane.
HELP ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT BAGGING PEOPLE I KNOW
F: You recently released your first book, Acknowledgements, a collection of stories. I haven’t read it (yet, rip me) but I’m imagining you talk about real people in your life. How do you navigate that? Do you ask people before you put them in? Did you receive any backlash? (I ask cos I often talk and ppl on my IG story and sometimes it backfires and I would love advice hehe)
BL: Yes I have definitely had backlash and it’s difficult because I always assume that anything I put out there will be mostly ignored and barely absorbed and I think that’s because I have this weird feeling that I don’t exist, or more so that I don’t fully engage in life and am mostly observing. I think I definitely pissed off a few people with the book, mainly a rich woman I used to babysit for who would get drunk, give me her fur coats and diamonds and then insist I return them in the morning. I do have some guilt about it, and it’s an unfortunate side effect of what I do. I don’t have the answer as to who is in the right. I think it’s probably immoral to use people’s lives as fodder for your art but I think if people were to stop doing it then art would maybe suck? So… yeah, I guess you have to be comfortable sacrificing your moral code and occasionally being disliked.
MAKE UP
F: Fave makeup product and why.
BL: I love a good lip liner. I use MAC Cherry Red on the outline of my lips and smudge it in which makes my lips look full. Sometimes if I get too excited my lips get thin and make me look really horse girl.
FUNERAL SONG
F: What’s yours?
BL:
FINALLY
F: Any final words? Do you want to ask me a question? I haven’t talked about myself in a while. I’m happy to give you some business advice should you so require.
BL: Yes Froomes, I’ve always wanted to know how you keep up with all your DM’s? I get scared and stop replying but you’re so generous with your communication. It makes me think you’re either experimenting with amphetamine usage or you are free from social anxiety.
F: I think it’s not having a boyfriend. I wake up in the morning and go straight to the Message Requests in the hopes one will materialise out of thin air, preferably FIFO so he can just give me money for crypto and leave me alone mostly. Haha
Gosh that was fun. As I write this outro I’m listening to Raise Your Glass and can I just say… call me up if you a gangsta?
Love you all!
Froomy x