Hello babies,
Happy Hump Day!
if u need my iâll be here. ahah
This newsletter is going to be a list of recommendations by me. Recommendations are like shitty arseholes, everyoneâs got one but not everyone knows how much they stink.Â
Recommendations stink because every time you get one, your brain is like, fuck, another thing. Where does this information go? If youâre like me youâll put it in Notes then feel guilty every time you consume something thatâs not on the list.
With this in mind, here are some recommendations.
CHOCOLATE
Chocolate gets its own category because choccie is to Froomy what lilypad is to frog. It sustains life and I canât live without it.
The other night I was at dinner with my best friends and they said the word âchoccieâ makes them sick. Itâs impossible to say âchoccieâ without sounding like youâre putting on a sexy baby voice. Foul! But yum.
This weekâs reco is Cadbury Dairy Milk Furry Friends.
Fury Friends come in a pack of 5 tiny little 20g bars.
I adore FFâs because they are super thin and Cadbury is most delicious when thin. The chunkier varieties (like the block and even the Freddo) are too thicc, resulting in a mouth-coaty feel. I only like the mouth-coaty feel with a higher quality, higher cocoa chocolate like Lindt.
Either way, these are my preferred 3pm snack and Iâm Totally Wild⢠for them.
PODCAST
This week I have been listening to âGenesis: The Podcast: The Musicalâ (Iâll link all this stuff below so u can sit back and relax).
This podcast is made by Lewi McKirdy who used to be a Triple J presenter. I think he was the first one to say âtuna sandwichâ â a decision he no doubt lived to regret.Â
âGenesis: The Podcast: The Musicalâ is his scripted comedy podcast. I have attention issues (not ADHD. Steve Jobs has a lot 2 answer for). I struggle to lock in to podcasts â especially when I have le Impala at my fingertips â but I stuck with this and it was delicious.
Itâs a 6-part story revolving around hands but grasping at much more. Spookie!
It made me laugh out loud and I thought it was really fresh and interesting. He also uses voice-to-text as characters which gets me garn. GonGIT!!
TOILETS
I went to Bills for breakfast last weekend.
Waiting in line to spend $22 on corn fritters is an affront to my dignity, but I swallowed my pride and they were good. Throw up another $16 for a midday peach bellini and youâre in for a nice experience.
People say you go to Bills for the pancakes, but I go to bills for the ambient energy of the bathrooms.
Burnt amber colour palate, mood lighting, Aesop products. Itâs a single bathroom set-up sans stalls. Privacy guaranteed.
I didnât get pictures because sometimes I try to pretend I have manners, but this interior may give you an idea of the calibre of this Au De Toilette.
POLITICS
I want to see a press conference where journalists ask Scott Morrison obscure facts about the Sharks to test how much of a fan he actually is. My theory is that he isnât into sport at all, heâd actually much rather stay home and watch The Chase on Channel 7 while eating lasagne.Â
wen jenny says the Coles Beef Lasagne 1.8kg everyday product is on the table
MUSIC
I made this playlist which is an audio tour of my brain. The process of thinking about my favourite-of-all-time songs was quite therapeutic. Remembering crying to myself in the mirror to Kelly Rowland - Stole many years ago proves that life gets better. I recommend doing it. (Making a playlist. Not crying to Kelly Rowland. Jokes, do both)
INDULGE
I got my mittens manicured on Monday at Bondi Nails.
They had the biggest range of SNS colours I have seen in recent times, the guy who did my nails was a bawus and theyâre Furry Friend-level thin. Into it!
Idea for a nail salon: A country western-style salon parlour called âTaloon Saloonâ. Thatâs the end of my idea.
GROUP ACTIVITIES THAT DONâT INVOLVE EATING THAT YOUâD ACTUALLY WANT TO DO
I struggle with this category. I donât normally go for a group activity that doesnât involve eating that Iâd actually want to do.
Like, when I go to the Blue Mountains, I know Iâll have to go for a walk in the bush. I really donât want to. The only thing getting me through is the promise of a hefty wad of pastrami sandwiched between two slices of fluffy, cult-baked bread at the Yellow Deli.Â
(The Yellow Deli is a wonky wooden hidey-hole cafe run by a questionable religious group in Katoomba. The pain I feel promoting them is second only to the pleasure of eating their sandwiches. More at bottom *farts*)
Back to #activity, one that doesnât involve eating that youâd actually want to do isâŚ
Dodgeball!
When I tell people I play dodgeball they say âlike the movie?â and I say, âyesâ. It is the exact same. I play it every week and itâs the first team sport Iâve ever enjoyed. I witnessed an IRL version of that gif last night. Pure satisfaction.
TOK
If you havenât downloaded TikTok, I wonât suggest you do only because I donât want to be like the people who insisted you get Facebook. Those people were annoying as fuk because you ended up getting it anyway and now it has all your data which will no doubt be used in the next World War.
I got the Tok and wasnât totally blown away initially, and then one night the algorithm projectile vomited this ^ at me and the clouds parted to reveal a new height of comedy.
Thank you for reaching the butthole of this email. The links I mentioned are below.
Whoâs TOP HAT TIPS do you want to hear next? Kelly Rowlandâs? That Soggy Nuggetâs? Email our office your suggestions (froomesworld@gmail.com).
LINKS
LEWI MCKIRDY PODCAST â HERE
MY âINSIDE MY BRAINâ PLAYLIST â HERE
BONDI NAILS â HERE
MAKE A DODGEBALL TEAM â HERE
SOGGY NUGGET ON THE TOK â HERE
SYDNEY MORNING HERALD PIECE ON THE YELLOW DELI â HERE
IF YOU DONâT HAVE A SYDNEY MORNING HERALD SUBSCRIPTION, YOU CAN READ VICEâS BLOG ABOUT IT HERE â HERE
goodbye my bros