Good evening hun-tees,
I recently rediscovered Dollzmania and the mere sight of these digital girlies brings me unbridled joy!
Tag yourself, I’m definitely vibing with the blonde-haired Sporty Spice in the middle row, second from the left. I like her Adidas trackies, and the squiggly arms of the guy she’s next to. It’s giving Holly Madison and Zyzz.
What did we even do with these Dollz?! They were definitely too prepubescent to put on your MySpace. Perhaps we saved them in a folder on the family computer and went and looked at them when the internet was interrupted by someone talking on the landline?
Fuck knows! But slay.
Tonight’s newsletter is yet another instalment of Froomes’ Top Hat Tips and I will be sharing six simple things that I am currently ateing up.
Shall we mon cherries?
SUPER FREAKY GIRL
It scares, concerns, alarms and excites me that I am only just now joining the Barbz and becoming a Nicki Minaj truther.
When she shared a little snippet of her latest single, Super Freaky Girl, on TikTok something clicked in my brain and I became obsessed.
Previously, the extent of my Nicki Minaj literacy was knowing every word to Pound The Alarm, Starships (LETS GOH TO THE BEACH EACH) and her verse on the Bieb’s 2012 masterpiece, Beauty And A Beat (gotta keep an eye out for Se-leen-er). Not nothing, but not the level of appreciation befitting the self-proclaimed female Weezy.
Since unleashing Super Freaky Girl a week ago, she has found a new rabid beast of a fan in me. I love the Barbie.
Meanwhile, the song has earned the largest solo debut for a female rap song in Spotify history.
If you are looking for some brain satisfaction, I recommend learning every word. Very good for neurons!
MARIO BADESCU
Last week on Flex & Froomes, Mami and I almost had a fist fight over my opinions on Gua Sha-ing and wellness culture in general.
I will allow you to listen to the episode on your own accord – but in short, I argued that many of the products and practices of the $1.5 trillion dollar beauty industry are spin.
I don’t have a problem with Gua Sha specifically – it’s an ancient practice and very relaxing – but I do have qualms about quasi-dermatologists on the internet claiming it can drastically alter your appearance. The idea that your facial structure can be altered by anything that isn’t plastic surgery or puberty makes me go 🤔 mi scusi hun?
Anyway, because I live for contradictions and love to cherry-pick my personal delusions, I simply must tell you all about my Mario Badescu moisturiser.
This moisturiser was the first non-chemist one I ever bought and I still love it, 15 years later.
I got it from Kit, which was at the time just a little stall thing in Chadstone’s Myer. It was kind of like the Smiggle version of Mecca, catering to teenagers and young adults with international brands at local price points.
I squirted a little tester of this one and was instantly obsessed. I can’t quite put my finger on the smell, all I know is it reminds me of being thirteen in a wholesome way. It’s the texture of buttermilk and incites the same nostalgic olfactory experience as those magic textas your teacher sometimes let you use in Prep.
It’s not moisturising enough for my skin but my heart simply sings when I use it! And I think that’s the sweet spot for beauty products – being reasonably priced and making you feel happy.
I went to Mecca again yesterday because I really felt like getting a face mist. No active ingredients for me, just something that smelt yummy to reinvigorate me while my arse goes numb sitting in front of my computer. And yet again, King Mario delivered. This smells so fkn good. I usually avoid green products because they’re too ‘earthy’ or ‘fresh’ smelling but this is ain’t that. It smells like a very delicious soft drink for my face.
DARIA
“nah nah nahhh nah nah, nah nah nahhh nah nahhhh”
Hearing the opening sequence of Daria in the late 90s and early 2000s struck a deep chord of disappointment in my five-year-old soul.
I didn’t understand the appeal. Daria was a savagely apathetic emo who was perpetually unimpressed by her popular sister Quinn, who I thought was a total slay. The storylines were boring and as far as I was concerned, the jokes were non-existent.
That all changed two weeks ago when I got Binge. I was enticed by American Horror Stories and I challenged myself to revisit Daria, if only for sentimentality’s sake.
Now, it is the best. It’s so good. It’s funny, smart and feels modern. That could be in part due to the fashion – but the storylines and attitudes of the characters typify the teenage experience. Of course, Quinn remains a slay – her outfits are iconic.
(While you’re on Binge, may I recommend you watch Zola? I saw it at the Sydney Film Festival earlier this year and it was one of the funniest, coolest, true story movies I’ve seen in years. Thrilling, too. I clenched my butt cheeks the entire time.)
NO LIGHTS, NO LYCRA
My interests include: sandwiches and dancing.
That’s why No Lights, No Lycra brings tears to my eyes and disco energy to my carbohydrate-powered hoofs.
It’s an international phenomenon that started around 13 years ago. It involves paying $15 to go to a scout hall with blacked out windows and dance in the dark for 50 minutes to an eclectic Spotify playlist – some hits, some misses.
When I say it’s pitch black in there, I mean it’s pitch black. I went last night with Flex and the sartorially-gifted stylist Millie Sykes (read our interview here!) and they shrieked like rabid wildebeests when the room went dark. Like a jump scare. I’m pretty sure Flex had an out of body experience and was definitely tripping.
There are moments during the session where my bum prolapses from the sheer awkwardness of dancing in a non-club environment, but you get over it quickly because everyone is in the same boat and the ambassadors who organise the nights (Ash and Jodie) foster a truly inclusive and welcoming vibe.
(The also often play Darude - Sandstorm which hits different when played in public, on a Tuesday.)
FRESH POPPIES
Guess what poppets – Poppies are currently in season! I bought these from Harris Farm a few days ago for $15 flat. An indulgent treat.
THE BONY LADY
I’ve been in a spooky as f mood lately. It all started a few weeks ago when I went out for dinner in Newtown.
Walking home, I happened upon Camperdown Cemetery, just off King St. It’s one of the oldest cemeteries in Australia and it legit looks like something straight out of Goosebumps, with a prairie-style house and an enormous Moreton Bay Fig tree out the front.
It used to span 13 hectares… which means anyone who lives in Newtown lives atop one of the biggest cemeteries in the Southern Hemisphere. The creepy vibes are nonexistent though, especially since people hang out and walk their dogs in the cemetery every day. By dream is to be buried there in the hopes a chihuahua comes and rescues me <3 one day.
I digress, elaborately.
What I want to talk about is a religion that is taking over the Americas and rising as the fastest growing faith-based cultural movement of the 21st century.
It’s a spin-off of Catholicism (it’s classified as folk Catholicism and Mexican Neopaganism) and it involves worshipping a saint called Santa Muerte.
She’s the ‘personification of death’ and is associated with healing and safe delivery to the afterlife by her devotees, many of whom are criminals, prison inmates, members of the LGBTQI+ community and other groups that have traditionally been excluded from religious movements. The Bony Lady (as she is colloquially known) is widely considered “satanic” by traditional interpretations of Catholicism, so go off sis.
I learnt about her just this morning while reading a book called ‘Mortals: How the fear of death shaped human society’. I’m roughly 50 pages in so she’s fresh, but this piqued my interest. Off I pop to do some more reading on the Wikipedia page!
GOOD JUJU
I hate to leave things on a scary note, so may I please leave you with a lullaby for beddie byes?
🎶 Lets gHo tew tha Beayuch, each, lesgogetaway 🎶
It was a pleasure to hit your inbox, as always. May your chosen saint bless you with McDonald’s, forevermore.
Froomy 💘
Lol