🌸 I'm writing a book, mon chérie!

call ur local dj, because i too have "big things coming"

Good evening everyone!

Did you know that, on average and across their lifespans, frogs typically go la de da de da and they don’t go whomp whomp whomp?

Incredible. Nature facts aside, I come to you tonight with a very exciting announcement. It is a big one, to me. A monumental moment. A win for the FROOMESWORLD at large and an auspicious ripple in this pond we call life.

Are you ready?

Should I say it yet?

I kind of gave it away in the title but can I maybe say it again?

Well yeah, I defo did ruin the surprise with the title but like, can I announce it here?

Ok fine. Here goes nothing.

I, Lucinda Price – otherwise known as Froomes, Froomindi, Fromami, Alien to my best friend, Luchia to my Dad, Poppet to my Mum, Annoying Little Cunt to my sister – am writing a book.

✨I am writing a book! ✨

Wow!

I’m seriously so excited to be sharing this Big Things Coming type of news. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to write a book, in the way that it is for most writers and/or professional-grade attention seekers. And now, it is occurring.

Before I get into explaining a little bit about the project so as to whet your appetite, I wanted to thank you.

Thank you for being a subscriber to this most unholy scripture, for allowing my creations to clog your iCloud and for being here tonight. Thank you for supporting me because when you do, I really can actually feel it in all of my atoms.

Now kittthhhhhhh. Nah, let me explain how this all came about! Like Willy Wonka letting you into the chocolate factory before wiggling his ass a little too much and making you semi-regret coming in the first place.

badoink

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So, my book is going to be called Perfect Candidate.

It sort of sounds like a job application manual, slash kinda reminds me of ‘candida’, but alas: it is not an instruction book on how to girlboss your way through a yeast infection.

Instead, it is an exploration of the juiciest problems that besiege even the sexiest of brains in the 21st century. The kernel of the book is my own personal experience with obsessional thinking and an eating disorder, but it will be rounded out by the stories of others alongside expert opinions on everything from body dysmorphia to epigenetics to whether or not the dog filter that Megan Markle used when Harry first noticed her really is changing the way we see ourselves.

In writing this book, I have been forced to reckon with my own internal bias against the topic of “women’s issues”. I have, for as long as I’ve been working as a writer and comedian, grimaced at the idea of writing about my womanhood. I’ve always felt as though it’s expected of me, as it is with all women and gender-diverse people working in the media – that at some point, we are required to bare our souls in order to remain relatable, likeable, and “real”.

I thought that I could be different. I considered my unwillingness to be vulnerable a statement in and of itself. Being silly was the ultimate act of resistance. Unbelievably, I am not different. I am a woman. There is a reason why the newsletters I’ve written about my eating disorder have resonated the most with readers (though I do stand by my investigation into why every politician has a crusty dog). All we really want is to see the soft white underbelly of someone else, to help us make peace with our own.

I hope with this book I can prove to myself that I can be funny and serious and that they don’t need to cancel each other out. Dickie Cox won’t disappear. He might go on a sabbatical to the Gold Coast while I finish this project, but he’ll be back, perhaps with a greater geographical understanding of the clitoris.

We can only hope.

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Ok, so I better trot off and actually get this thing underway. Please say “a good CEO writes quickly and beautifully” 10 times before bed tonight to help me.

In the meantime, you can read the three newsletters that set the wheels of this project in motion – my piece on anorexia, the other on binge eating therapy, and the last on how it felt when I realised ‘froomes weight gain’ was my most Google-able attribute.

Love yas.
Froomes